What Your Partner Really Wants This Valentine’s Day

  | 7 min read

Finding the perfect Valentine’s Day gift is challenging


Valentine’s Day is an opportunity for you to show the special person in your life how much they mean to you. So, in theory, it should be a blissful and joyous time that you spend with your loved one. However, in reality, many people find the 14th of Feb to be incredibly stressful. Ok, so of course there are people who hate Valentine’s Day because they recently had a bitter break-up or are single and feel awkward. But even the people who do have a reason to celebrate also find it incredibly anxiety-inducing. But why exactly?


Well, even though love has no material equivalent, there is a lot of pressure to find the perfect Valentine’s Day gift for your significant other. There are few things as disappointing as giving the person you love a present, and watching them try to lie to you that they like it. Even though, you can tell that they don’t!


But unless your special someone specifically tells you what they want for Valentine’s Day, it’s difficult to figure out the best gift for them. Unless you learn their love language!


So what is a love language?


Basically, your love language is the way in which you like to be shown love, and also how you show love to other people.  


The concept was first introduced in 1995 by Dr Gary Chapman, an anthropologist who studied behavioural patterns between couples for years. Chapman argues that through observation of how people express love to others, and what they complain about in relationships, you can discover their love language.


So, basically the things your partner consistently argues with you about, like, ‘you don’t do the dishes?’ or  ‘we don’t spend enough alone time!’. Well, they are indicators of how they want you to express your love to them.  


The 5 ways to show someone you love them this Valentine’s Day


  1. Words of affirmation


People who express their love through words of affirmation are incredibly supportive partners who consistently offer encouragement. As a result, they mostly feel loved when they also receive compliments and heartfelt words of motivation from their partner.


Gift ideas:


  • A card is an absolute must for this person. But instead of simply writing “ Dear Jacob, Happy Valentine’s Day!”, you should take the time to write about how important they are to you and the things you love about them.
  • Another thing you can do is write them an original poem, or even rewrite their favourite love song to include their specific traits and qualities.
  • You could also write a letter about 10 things you love about them and frame it. To make it super personal and romantic, make sure you write it out by hand instead of typing it on a computer.  


At the end of the day, what this type of lover wants is to hear how much they mean to you and why. So whether you take them out to dinner or buy them some jewellery, make sure to be prepared to express through words how much you love them.


2. Acts of service


This type of lover is incredibly thoughtful, and always does things for you without you even asking. For instance, they may get you your favourite coffee in the morning cause they know you’ll have a long day. And they buy medication for your headache before you even think to.  They may also complain that you don’t ‘show them’ that you love them.


Gift ideas:


Well, the thing is, this type of person feels loved through thoughtful actions that help them out. So, the best thing you can do for them is to wait on them hand and foot for the whole of Valentine’s Day. Yes, become their personal love slave.


  • Start with cooking and serving them breakfast in bed, and if it’s a weekday then drive them to work or school.
  • Deliver lunch from their favourite restaurant in person at the office, and ask them if ‘there’s anything you can do to make their day better?’
  • And at night, cook dinner for them and offer a back and foot massage.


Additionally, if there is a chore that they absolutely hate to do, like washing the dishes or taking their car to the mechanic – do it for them. All this person wants is to see you do thoughtful things that make their life easier and enjoyable. Plus, you know that they would do the same for you in a heartbeat!


3. Receiving gifts


While the common perception of people who love receiving gifts is that they are materialistic and superficial, this isn’t necessarily true (all of the time). You see, to them, gifts are a symbol of thoughtfulness and effort by their partner.


Gift ideas:


So, when it comes to Valentine’s Day, this lover needs more than just flowers and chocolate. They want a gift that shows that you understand them, and prioritise their needs.


For instance:

  • If they have expressed that they would appreciate a new phone, then get them a phone or offer to pay for half of it.
  • Or if they have been stressed out at work, give them a gift certificate to their favourite spa or pay for a weekend stay at a luxury hotel.
  • Even something super practical like a painting for their wall, or a new suit jacket will be greatly appreciated if it’s something they need.


4. Quality time


Some people feel most loved when they get to spend quality one-on-one time with their significant other. They love having movie nights at home and going on weekend road trips to new places. It actually doesn’t matter where they are, as long as they are with you and have little distractions, they are satisfied.


Gift ideas:


So, for the special someone who loves quality time as a couple, you should:


  • Plan a romantic dinner at their favourite restaurant. In fact, many places offer special Valentine’s Day dinners with romantic touches like candles, flowers, and music.  
  • You could also take them out of town, and rent a hotel room or private house for you two to spend some uninterrupted time.
  • And for those on a budget, have a picnic at the beach, and take a walk in the sunset. This may sound cheesy, but they’ll surely love it!


5. Physical touch


These are people that express their love through constant physical affection like holding hands, hugging, cuddling and intimacy.


Gift ideas:


  • So, on Valentine’s Day, you can spend the night at home cuddled up watching movies and give them a full body massage.
  • You could also take them out dancing at their favourite club.
  • Even if you end up just going out to dinner, make sure to always be holding their hand and caressing them.


Whatever you do, physical contact is key.


Thoughtfulness: The ultimate gift


No matter what love language your partner uses, what they all have in common is thoughtfulness. We all want to feel like our lovers understand us and take the time to think about what we need. So as long as you are thoughtful, your partner will surely love whatever you do for them this Valentine’s Day.

Iman Lipumba
A digital storyteller, experienced in creating content that improves website visibility on search engines, enhances the user experience, and nurtures brand loyalty. With a background in the social sciences, an expert in researching complex ideas, and communicating them in engaging language to multiple audiences.